The Difference between "Sorry!" and "I'm sorry."

There are a million and one ways to say something stupid, or do something stupid. That’s what free will get you.

There is really only one way to apologize for saying or doing something stupid.

Before I get to that, I want to look at why apologizing seems to be so difficult.

Little children have trouble apologizing because they are embarrassed at being called out. Kids don’t like to stand out in a crowd or be singled out in even a small setting. They hate apologizing, which is why a curt “Sorry!” is sometimes the best they can do.

Adults never like admitting they were wrong. They know they can’t get away with a childish “Sorry!” So they equivoc-ate and hesit-ate and fluctu-ate—anything to keep from eating crow. Any excuse they can come up with is better than admitting guilt.

Politicians are in a class by themselves. They’re obviously adults, so they got that going against them, but their success depends on them having all the answers, always doing the right thing, and most importantly, always looking good. Politicians are convinced that admitting a mistake is worse than making a mistake and is always a bad look. They might be adults, but they are acting like children.

Our president has never apologized for anything in his life. He doesn’t see the need to because he has never done anything wrong. 

For a man who has never been wrong, he apparently surrounds himself with people that can do nothing right. He is forever calling out those around him for the sins he commits.

He can be excused because he is nothing more than a child in a seventy-four year old body. He is actually worse than a child because he can’t even say “Sorry!” and walk away.

So, we have a president who believes he is always right and enabling politicians unable to call him out when he’s wrong. No one apologizes for anything.

If only, someone could show them the way.

Fortunately, now there is.

Recently General Mark A. Milley did something very unbecoming of the highest ranking military man in the country. He allowed himself to be used by the president for an obviously political photo-op. Making matters worse, the senseless show he participated in resulted in peaceful protesters being physically abused, a Bible being desecrated, and a church being high-jacked for political gains.   

Everything about it was wrong and everyone told him so.

He could have made excuses: The president is my commander. I was only obeying an order. It didn’t seem wrong at the time. 

He could have feigned ignorance at the damage he did: If I offended anyone, I’m sorry. It was a confusing time, and I must have gotten caught up in the confusion. I thought we were simply going to inspect the troops.

General Milley didn’t say any of these things. That’s because you don’t become Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff by acting like a child, or making excuses, or worrying about your image, or behaving like our president. You get there by knowing right from wrong and not being afraid to admit when you’ve done something wrong. 

Everyone makes mistakes. Even generals. Even presidents. 
Especially this president.

This is how General Milley apologized.

“I should not have been there. My presence in that moment and in that environment created a perception of the military involved in domestic politics. As a commissioned uniformed officer, it was a mistake that I have learned from.” 

This is what a good apology sounds like. It’s also what separates the men from the boys. 

Can you hear me, now? Not Really.

     In 2013, Representative King (IA) infamously said, young girls coming into the U.S. from Mexico “...had calves as big as cantaloupes from lugging drugs across the border.”

     He would not have spoken these extremely hurtful, not to mention stupid, words if he wasn’t certain his constituents would not only approve, but also reward him for them. He was right. They returned him to Congress in 2014, 2016, and 2018.

     For a long time, some would say, too long, it’s been impossible for Republicans to say anything so outrageous that their base would reject them.

     This was good for them because Republicans seem to be uniquely adept at saying things that make no sense. What isn’t unique about Republicans is that like Democrats, Independents, Whigs in the old days, and the Green Party in recent days, they like to talk.

     They kiss babies, eat food they wouldn’t otherwise go near with a ten-foot pole, take endless selfies, and shake countless hands; but most of all they like to hear themselves talk.

     Unlike Democrats who are known for their in-fighting—that’s what a big tent will do for you—Republicans are known for their unity. Reagans eleventh commandment, speak no ill-will of other Republicans has been their guiding principle for over fifty years.

     This has never been more evident than with the current president. Trump has said things so mystifying, so beyond the pale, so utterly ridiculous as to make normal people cringe, yet somehow, Republicans have always found a way to defend him.     

     Senator Graham called Trump an idiot during the 2016 campaign, adding he’s a race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot, who will destroy the Republican Party. Today, because Republicans can’t afford to have Trump's base turn against them, Graham can’t say enough good things about the idiotic, race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot. Idiots don’t generally start making sense when they turn seventy. A smarter Graham would understand this.

     Senator Cruz continued to support him through three-plus years of lunacy because the very thought of Trump’s base turning on him was worse than having to endure Trump insults against both his wife and father during the campaign.

     And Trump’s base will make them pay. Those who have stood up to Trump, and when I say stand up I refer to the most minuscule exhibition of courage one could possibly imagine, nevertheless, they have seen their careers ended, primaried out of existence so to speak.

     However, just as Trump appears to be self-destructing before our very eyes, his base is also beginning to crumble, albeit ever so slowly. His poll numbers, never high to begin with, are beginning to fall. People who once proudly wore tee-shirts bragging, “I'm Deplorable” are having second thoughts. They might not be saying it out loud, but the times, they are achangin’.

      The only thing worse than being deplorable is having to admit that the man you voted for no longer meets your deplorable standards. They’d rather you just forget.

     Just because his base can walk away, slither into the darkness and hope no one notices, doesn’t mean everyone can be so lucky.

     As Trump’s base abandons him, the big question is where the Congressmen and women and senators go, after bowing so cowardly before his unholy altar for three excruciating years. Is Trump’s base turning only on him? Do the sheep in Congress fight to hold on to the ones still loyal to Trump, or do they go after the ones that have left?

     Trump’s supporters have been a big question mark from the start. Only now, Republicans are beginning to question what everyone else has questioned from the start—what’s up with Trump’s base. Republicans no longer know which way the wind is blowing, only that something is in the air.

     We are seeing the by-product of this confusion every day in the halls of Congress. Politicians who talk for a living, who thrive on hearing their own voices, who can tell a lie without even blinking an eyelash have suddenly gone mute—afraid to say the wrong thing, afraid to say the right thing, afraid to say anything.

     These habitual motor-mouths can no longer find the words, when asked to comment on the president latest act of lunacy— something they could and did do without thinking just a few months ago. The poor souls have lost their voices, the only thing that ever mattered to them. They are reduced to making excuses, where they used to make waves.

     “I didn’t hear that.”

     “I didn’t read that.”

     “I’ll get back to you.”

     “Did he say that? I don’t know. I wasn’t aware.”

     "Hmmm, sooo, ahh..."

     “I’m late for a meeting.”

     “I’m late for lunch.”

     “I’m late. I’m late. I’m late.”

     Oh, if they could just say what Senator Graham said in the 2016 campaign? Trump is an idiotic, race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot. If only Republicans could cut Trump and his base loose and take their chances with those Americans who have known from day-one that Trump wasn’t going to make anything great. 

     He was only going to make us the laughing stock of the world, trample on the Constitution and tear our country apart. That’s what idiotic, race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigots do.   

Not Being a Racist is not enough

When talk of reparation starts up—and for the record, this piece is not about reparation—but when talk of reparation arises, the immediate response from many is why anyone should have to pay for someone else’s bad behavior, especially if that behavior occurred hundreds of years ago.

Valid arguments can be made for both sides—I hate to even use that expression—but reparation seen as paying off a debt is one thing. Reparation as punishment for someone else’s sin is quite another thing.

My point is there are no easy answers to complicated problems.

We are, however, responsible for our own sins, especially if we refuse to stop committing them.

Many, perhaps most, would be right declaring, “I am not a racist. I don’t have a racist bone in my body. I deplore racism.”

Well good for you. We need more like you. If you lived on an island by yourself, you would be entitled to bragging rights. Unfortunately, we are a nation with a lot of people unlike you.

A racist nation isn’t one where everyone is a racist. A racist nation is one where racism is allowed to exist, even thrive in some areas, and accepted as something we don’t condone, but can’t do anything about. If racism is present in a nation, the nation is a racist nation. Nation-building is a team sport.

Racism isn’t something that occurs over weeks, months, or years. A nation doesn’t go through a racist phase, and then suddenly shape up.

Before we even were a nation, for 157 years from 1619 to 1788, we depended on slavery to build our nation. In 1788, we became a nation dedicated to the idea that all men were created equal, but continued for the next 75 years, until 1863, to condone slavery. From 1863, the year of the Emancipation Proclamation into the 1960’s Civil Rights movement, Jim Crow laws, segregationist policies, and hate groups like the Ku Klux Klan did everything in their power to prevent blacks from exercising the rights given to them by the 13^th, 14^th, and 15^th Amendments. For the last half-century many states, white supremacists groups, and yes, individual racists have continued to do everything in their power to weaken or remove entirely those rights given blacks in the 1860s and 1960s. We are the United States. 

"E pluribus unum" (Out of many, one) is a good motto when everything is going well and everyone is working together. 

"Sicut et nos omnes," (Just as one, so are we all) is what explains a bad situation we’d rather forget, or at least, ignore. A conversation about racism does not begin by pointing the finger at the other guy. It begins by admitting we have always been and continue to be a racist nation.

The only thing that changes is the personal involvement in racism as experienced by the white community. Sometimes, racism pushes everything else aside—even a pandemic. Most times, racism is so far out of mind that we might be tempted to convince ourselves it doesn’t even exists.

For blacks, racism is an ongoing way of life in the United States of America, always has been. It never goes away.

Money can help ease the pain, but money can’t make wrongs, right. No amount of money can put a black family in a white neighborhood if that neighborhood doesn’t want them. A college education cannot give a black person a job if a white employer doesn’t want to hire him. And what we continue to learn, as we have known for the last 150 years, no law can guarantee a black person his rights if a white person refused to concede them.

What we are increasingly learning is that no policeman can protect a black man if that policeman is part of the problem.

Money can’t fix the racism problem. Laws can’t fix it.

Again, we are a nation of individual, whose actions define the group. Every individual must decide, not whether he or she is a racist, but rather, do they want to live in a racist country, and if they don’t, what are they going to do about it?

I’m convinced the racists are not going to fix this problem. Introspection will not get them to where the country needs them to be. Saving the nation is more than protecting our own reputations. Racists have to know there is no place for them in this country. Non-racists have to tell them that, every chance they get.    

   

   

Let's see. How can I screw this up?

This would have been a chance

Let me be clear from the onset. The following is not a real proposal. In fact, to some degree, some of it may have already been considered. I don’t know. I am merely looking not so much, at what the president can and cannot do, but why he is unable to do what he should do.

In the nation’s war against COVID-19, virtually the whole country is united. Healthcare workers are making tremendous sacrifices. The nation realizes this and appreciates their work and are doing whatever they can—sheltering in place and wearing masks to lessen their load, save lives, and put this pandemic behind us.

The list of suspects continue to go against the grain, bucking the advice of doctors, health and state officials. These are the fatigue-clad men showing off their guns, rebels without a cause carrying “Don’t Tread on Me” flags, loudmouths who simply don’t like the government or anyone else telling them what to do, and of course, Trump supporters who don’t believe in science, don’t trust the press and think there is a deep-state in Washington going after the president.

Sadly, there is also the president, himself, taking every opportunity to fight with his own medical advisors, state governors, Congressional leaders, the press, and anyone else bold enough to stand up to him.

He has been in a state of denial about the disease and its spread from the beginning, slow to act when denial was no longer an option, and a spreader of bad, misleading and often dangerous information. To his shame, he has made the simple act of wearing a mask an issue for debate.

The president’s quandary exists in his own mind. He thinks everything that is good for the country—masks, social distancing, and science—must be bad for him. His insecurity forces him to question any idea that doesn’t originate from his own mind. 

What he does believe, unfortunately, is that anything that does pop up in his mind is good for him politically—huge rallies, opening up businesses with as little restrictions as possible, and not listening to medical advice—and can’t be that bad for the country. If he wins, we all win.

The result of all this bad leadership has been the spread of the disease and increased deaths and suffering. He has also seen his poll numbers—the only thing he really cares about—go down. His declining poll numbers result in even more bizarre and destructive behavior.

It didn’t have to be like this. He could have done something early-on that would have helped both the nation and his political standing. I’m not talking about more testing and more equipment. These were never in the realm of something he could or would do because he never saw these as his responsibility.

There was, however, something he could have done that one could have expected a selfish, self-absorbed politician like himself to do.

I’m talking about MAGA masks.

He could have stepped up to a podium in February to address Americans wearing a MAGA mask—not meekly, but proudly. Not self-consciously, but pro-actively. If he had told Americans then that wearing a mask, along with social distancing was the greatest weapon we had, not only to defeat this disease, but to restore America to greatness, he would have been behaving like the strong war-time president he thinks he is. If he had told his supporters that MAGA masks, or any other mask, was not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of moral fortitude against an enemy we might not be able to see, but we clearly need to defeat.

Would his supporters buy this? I don’t know. I do know they have bought every single other thing he has thrown their way. I think they would proudly wear masks if they saw him wearing one.

Those who don’t support the president might’ve worn mask with opposing logos. We are already a divided nation. Why not put some of that division to good use?

No one knows if everyone wearing masks in February would have reduced the number of deaths. I think I can say with certainty that deaths wouldn’t have increased if everyone was taking added precautions. I do think we would have been in better shape today if he had promoted masks instead of speculating (I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he doesn’t deserve) about injecting bleach or putting lights inside our bodies.

If the number of deaths were down because of something the president said or did instead of up because of things he didn’t say or do, I think that would have been good for his poll numbers.

This isn’t about Trump’s poll numbers or elect-ability. Four years of Trump as president is enough for me. I’m not interested in promoting MAGA either. I think it falls in the category of false and misleading advertising.

I am simply pointing out that this is one more example where given the opportunity to do the right thing and benefit from it, or do the wrong thing and not only do damage to himself, but do damage to the nation, our president will always choose Door Number Two.

He can’t help himself. He’ll destroy the nation. He’ll destroy you. He’ll continue to destroy himself and his presidency.

He’s not the fighter he says he is, as much as he’s a destroyer. He’s taken a complicated immigration problem and destroyed the whole process. He’s tried to destroy Obamacare putting millions of Americans at risk. He’s destroyed our relations with allies. His waffling and indecision at the beginning of the pandemic has destroyed the economy more than it had to be. He is doing everything he can to destroy Constitutional government. He has destroyed departments within the government, including the Justice Department and State. He breaks things faster than a child breaks toys on Christmas morning. It’s what he does.

Destroyers certainly don’t make things. A destroyer like Trump will not make America great again. He couldn’t even pretend to do so by wearing something like a MAGA mask.

Postscript: A check on Google shows there are actually MAGA masks, although they seem to be getting mostly two-star reviews. No way of knowing what him wearing one would have meant for the nation.

Sometimes, bigly is not enough

One of Donald Trump’s biggest handicaps, and it’s not his golf handicap because I’m sure he doesn’t have one, but one of his biggest is his need to surround himself in bigness.

The biggest crowd. The highest ratings. The best people. Most persecuted president in history. The best economy—ever. The biggest, most beautiful wall, and we wouldn’t even have to pay for it. That’s the bestest of all. He ran in 2016 on making America great. In 2020, he’s running on making it greater. If he could run for a third term, it'd be to make America the greatest of all time.

While other national leaders conduct diplomacy, Trump exchanges “love letters”—with dictators, no less.

The trouble with living your whole life in the superlative world of EST—even if it exists only in your own mind, which incidentally, also happens to border on genius—the trouble is at some point life at the top—the best, biggest, highest, longest, most is no longer good enough.

Take missiles.

After escalating the missile crisis to the point where Russia and the United States between them had enough missiles to not only blow up the planet, but half the solar system, common sense set in. Both countries agreed to start reducing their stockpiles. That actually was one of the best decisions of the last half century.

Alas, not being the best nuclear power was unsustainable. Both nations are at it again.

Russia’s Avangard hypersonic missile system can fly faster and lower and pack a more powerful punch, giving Putin bragging rights.

It does look like the Cold War is on again, but wait! Trump isn’t your ordinary war time president. He’s America’s greatest war time president. You have to get up pretty early to get the jump on Trump because the man never sleeps.

Trump is the greatest, “anything you can do, I can do better” man. Putin will rue the day he ever met Trump, which is saying a lot because right now, Putin thinks the day he was introduced to Trump was the greatest day of his life.

Trump recently announced that he has America on a path to develop the world’s first—wait for it—“Super-duper missile.” If that doesn’t scare the living daylight out of Putin, I don’t know what will. Actually, he’s probably a little concerned that Trump won’t be re-elected. Best day ever could turn into the worst day ever.

It’s one thing to be the greatest war president ever. It’s another laurel in his MAGA hat to be one of America’s greatest medical minds. Fighting the greatest virus ever, which some people say was brought to this country in a Corona beer bottle smuggled across the border by a Mexican rapist working for Obama, calls for extraordinary skill.

We need a vaccine and we need it fast. How fast? Some of the best minds in the country say a vaccine might take as much as eighteen months, maybe a year if we’re lucky.

Trump laughs at luck. In the White House Rose Garden, he announced “Operation Warp Speed,” the push to get a vaccine by the fall.

Super-duper missiles? Warp-speed vaccine development? Is there anything the man can't do?

Actually, there is.

I’ve never heard anyone walk away after one of his announcements declaring it the greatest speech ever. Usually, his talks are followed by someone explaining what the hell he said.

Oops

“I was mistaken.”

This was Moscow Mitch McConnell’s explanation for having said President Obama did not provide a 69-page pandemic playbook for the incoming Trump administration.

Admitting mistakes, while sometimes embarrassing, is always a good thing. Realizing we’ve made mistakes is how we learn, admitting them is how we grow.

Because he is unwilling or incapable of doing either, Donald Trump remains an intellectual five-year-old. He is a 250 pound man-child who happens to be president of the United States because sixty million Americans made the mistake of voting for him in 2016.

Not everyone would agree with that statement. They don’t have to. How we vote isn’t necessarily a mistake regardless of the outcome, or whether the winner turns out to be good or bad, competent or incompetent.

In Trump’s case, we know he can’t speak intelligently, he doesn’t read, and is so thin-skinned that those around him must baby him to keep him from flying off the handle. When was the last time the leader of the free world had to be babied?

He also is incapable of making decisions. He simply thinks out loud, tells us what people—real or imagined—are telling him, or what he heard on T.V., or what he concocted in his own “brilliant” mind.

These are all observations from the last three and a half years of his presidency, but these facts were all true and in plain sight when he was running in 2016. That’s why voting for him was a mistake of massive proportion. We are not seeing a new or different Trump. He’s the same man-child, intellectual idiot now that he’s always been.

His presidency began with a mistake and the mistakes continue to mount.

He puts people in positions of authority only to have to remove them because he made a mistake.

Sometimes people remove themselves because they realized joining his team was a mistake.

Every encounter with Speaker Pelosi has turned into a mistake for Trump.

Making that “perfect” phone call was a mistake.

Promoting bleach as a cure for COVID-19 was a mistake. It certainly wasn’t an example of sarcasm.

Every day of his administration, from the estimate of the Inauguration Day crowd size to opening up America without adequate testing, has produced new mistakes by him or his accomplices like McConnell, Barr, Giuliani, Rep. Nunes, Pence and just about everyone else in his inner circle. Until now, few have admitted to making a mistake. 

McConnell’s admission that “he was mistaken” is something—if he was, in fact, merely mistaken.

What exactly is a mistake? The dictionary defines mistake as an action or judgement that is misguided or wrong—like giving the wrong answer to a test question. Most people don’t give the wrong answer intentionally.

So, what is a mistake not?

Your money or your life

There’s the old Jack Benny joke where he is being robbed and the thief demands, “Your money or your life?”

After a long pause, the frustrated thief asks, what’s taking so long?

“I’m thinking. I’m thinking.”

This question is being asked again of the whole country—and no longer does it get a laugh.

“Your money or your life,” has become a lot more complicated as we wage this war against the corona-virus. Part of what makes it complicated is the role that money plays in our lives and the inequitable distribution of it over the last fifty years.

We are engaged in a war against a corona-virus. The virus can only win by continuing to exist, by infiltrating our society. “Just looking for a home,” like that nasty old boll weevil.

Our victory depends on denying the virus a home, or if it happens to move in, like an uninvited guest, kicking it out as quickly as possible.

Until we can acquire overwhelming firepower against the disease—vaccines, medicines, herd immunity, which sounds a little archaic, but I’m not much of a joiner in the first place—our best weapon is social distancing, sheltering in place.

The virus’ war plan calls for guerrilla maneuvers—randomly striking when no one is looking, catching us when our guard is down. This tactic, commonly resorted to by enemies that don’t have the big guns, little bugs for instance, can be very effective simply instilling fear.

So, we have two combatants, one microscopic bug striking a lot of fear and doing real damage by attacking, attacking, attacking; and one large human race passively shutting down its economy. Something doesn’t seem right, and yet, as Donald Rumsfeld said, and I never thought I’d be quoting him, “You go to war with the army you have, not the army you wish you had.”

Passive avoidance is the best weapon we have right now. The good news is, it’s working.

We are at sort of a standstill right now with the enemy, by gaining the upper hand, limiting the spread, in spite of incurring heavy casualties. That doesn’t mean the enemy isn’t also out there, waiting, waiting.

Scientists, who know something about fighting viruses, are urging us to continue sheltering in place, at least as much as possible. However, some soldiers—and in this war, everyone’s been drafted—some soldiers are grumbling as soldiers tend to do. They are getting impatient. They want to confront the enemy by meeting him head on.

They are playing into the guerillas’ hands.

This war has come down to what a lot of wars come down to—a battle of will power.

Troops are being distracted from what the original war was all about—saving lives, to the new war—saving the economy. A certain panic is setting in as the stock market crashes, jobs are lost and bills go unpaid.

We might not be able to see the bug we’re fighting, but a quick glance at the evening news and state houses around the country tells us insurrection is in the air.

Again, it comes down to our money or our lives.

Money should be a medium of exchange. It started out that way and made life a whole lot easier. Farmers didn’t have to carry a chicken with them when they needed a new pair of pants, tailors didn’t have to take along a rack of ties when they went to the butcher.

Somewhere along the line, but the last fifty years stands out, money became a measure of wealth and hoarding it became a national pastime.

The true measure of a man has come down to how wealthy he is. When wealth becomes so important, the loss of wealth becomes a crisis, something some people would be willing to risk their lives to prevent.

The economy has slowed, but it still exists. An economy is nothing more than the exchange of goods and services. That isn’t going away. We didn’t become the wealthiest nation in the world for nothing. Money is everywhere. Well, not everywhere. For the most part, it is in all the wrong places. 

It’s hanging on the walls inside mansions, or floating in marinas, or in that Lamborghini that just passed. Money is flying through the ether in split-second trades between banks and investment firms, never staying anywhere long enough to do any good, but always growing. Maybe it’s time to put it where it can do the most good.

If the people and corporations that have spent the last fifty years trying to corner the money supply—and I’d have to say, they’ve done a damn good job—decided to give some of it back to the American workers whose labor created their wealth, then maybe some of the anxiety about loss of income might be alleviated.

If they remained convinced that they’ve earned every last nickel they have, which is pretty much every last nickel of what was in the economy to begin with, then government should declare that this national emergency, which asks workers to sacrifice their jobs and income, can also ask the wealthy to sacrifice some of their wealth. The tax rate for the super rich could be raised to 45-50 percent, which would still be light-years from what it was in the fifties, but a substantial help in protecting the economy.

More income, less wealth. It might not be the perfect solution, but neither is more wealth, less income. People losing some of their wealth right now might be mad, but they aren’t desperate. People losing income are so desperate, they’re willing to put their lives on the line. This makes the wealthiest nation on the planet a little less than the greatest nation.

If one appreciates that money’s role is as a medium of exchange, they’d understand that all the things that were needed before in the economy before corona-virus will be needed again.

Everything is relative. Whatever money could buy before, it will be able to buy again, regardless of how much money is floating around, which is all money should ever be doing in the first place—floating around, doing its thing. All these transactions will again be pumping money into the economy. The economy isn’t going anywhere because we are not going anywhere—unless we lose the fight against the corona-virus because we lost the will to fight because workers lost the little money this great economy has been meagerly doling out to them.

Now, there might be less money floating around when all this is over, but whatever amount is out there will be enough to get the job done, because that is what money does—get the job done. The rich will still be rich, the poor will still be poor and the middle class will still be in the middle, complaining about the poor and striving to become the rich. The distance between the fewer rich and the fewer poor might be a little less. 

There might even be a bigger group in the middle, which might be the final step in putting social distancing behind us.