Who Killed the GOP

Who killed the GOP?

I dunno. It wasn’t me.

“It wasn’t our fault,” said the gun lobby  

We’re only protecting an American hobby  

‘Sides, guns don’t kill people, people do  

If you’re looking to place blame, maybe it was you  

Second Amendment says guns are a right  

You know you’d want one in a fight  

So don’t you come looking for me  

Cause I’m armed to the gills, as you can see  

Who killed the GOP?

I dunno. It wasn’t me.

“Not me,” said the political strategist  

Times are ‘a-changin’, I’m just a catalyst  

I take polls and line up venues  

Schedule flights and finalize menus  

I make ads, and yes, some get nasty   

I gotta be tough. I ain’t no patsy  
I don’t want to hear ‘bout no dirty tricks  
Those Democrats can also be pricks  

Who killed the GOP?
I dunno. It wasn’t me.

“It wasn’t me,” said the global warming denier  

It’s freezing outside, so now whose the liar  
Those bergs have been around a million years  
Now that they’re gone, I’ll shed no tears  
Sure, some were big and some were greater  
They were all bound to melt, sooner or later  
God gave us the world and said go use it  
He never said nothing ‘bout not abusin’ it  

Who killed the GOP?

I dunno. It wasn’t me.

“It wasn’t me,” said the pious evangelical  
Why must everyone be so cynical  
When I see a wrong in my line of sight  
It’s my duty to speak out and make it right   
The world’s not perfect, so it’s my job  
To make heathens listen to the word of God  
The end is coming and it’s coming soon  
Everybody better start singing my tune  

Who killed the GOP?
I dunno. It wasn’t me.

“It wasn’t me,” said the strict Constitutionalist  

Looking at his list of people-to-take-down-to-do list  
We’ve got laws to uphold, and goals to meet   
Getting rid of slackers would make them easier to keep  
Don’t give me that shit ‘bout the times ‘a-changin’  
It’s there in black and white, that’s all I’m saying  
The forefathers, they were quite explicit  
Read the Constitution, but don’t dare dis it   

Who killed the GOP?

I dunno. It wasn’t me.

“Not me,” said the billionaire  

With the flaming mop of orange hair  
Some say suckers are born every minute  
My jobs to show ‘em a new way to spin it   
Tell him and show him what he wants to see  
Any of you would do it, might as well be me  
Don’t call me a pathological liar  
I’m just lighting a political fire   

Who killed the GOP?

I dunno. It wasn’t me.

It wasn’t us Capitalists, we just like money  

We take to it like bees to honey  
Everyone can be rich, that ain’t no secret  
Just get a good job and work hard to keep it  
If you can’t do that, and not all can  
It doesn’t hurt if your dad’s an oil man   
It isn’t money that brought down the party  
It’s those Harvard elites and other smarties  

Who killed the GOP?

I dunno. It wasn’t me.

It wasn’t us Conservatives, that’s for sure  

We don’t even know what we’re against or for  
We do know that we like the past   
Sure wish those days could have last-ed  
Can’t a man dream of bygone days and days of yore  
Of times when twenty was recorded as a score  
Liberals are always on the go  
While we kind of like the status quo  

Who killed the GOP?

I dunno. It wasn’t me.

“It wasn’t us,” said the Tea Party idealists  

We’re patriots, we never said we were realists  
Maybe we’re old school, but we’re no dinos  
We’re just tired of dealing with RINOs  
Someone stole the government and we can’t find it  
Sure, everyone hates our butt, but we don’t mind it  
We didn’t turn the world turvy-topsy  
So don’t put us in your fuckin’ autopsy    

Who killed the GOP?

I dunno. It wasn’t me.

“Don’t go blaming me,” said the Obama hater  

He was bound to screw up sooner or later  
Maybe he’s a Kenyan, or maybe Hawaiian  
If his lips are moving, I know he’s lying  
He went to Libya, when he shouldn’t have  
Didn’t go to Syria when he could have  
All we ever wanted was to take him down  
None of us can believe he’s still around   

Who killed the GOP?

I dunno. It wasn’t me.

“Not me,” said the illegal Hispanic immigrant  

In a country this big, I barely leave a fingerprint  
Blame me for this, blame me for that  
All I wanted was a place to hang my hat  
I do the dirty jobs and clean your pools  
Amigo! I’ve been to college, I ain’t no fool  
Estamos en un lugar duro     (We are in a tough spot)   
Pero no somos asesinos        (But we are not killers)

Who killed the GOP?

I dunno. It wasn’t me.

“It wasn’t us,” said the primary voters  

We’re just a bunch of daydreamers and hopers  
We wanted someone to speak to our fears  
To sooth our pain and wipe away our tears  
We didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt  
We like the Party, just not the jerks  
That’s not true, I guess you realize  
All we know is we sure can’t compromise  

Who killed the GOP?

I dunno. It wasn’t me.
On second thought, maybe we all share the blame  
It doesn’t matter, we’re losing just the same.