President Trump enters the Great American Think-off
In December 2015, I began
a feature on my blog, entitled, “Trump Throughout History,” where I put him in
different settings. Every year, I enter a contest called the “Great American
Think-off.” This year, a member from a writer’s group I belong to is one of the
four finalist going to Minnesota to debate the question: What shapes our lives
more: Success or Failure?
I tried to envision
what the president’s entry to a Great American Think-off would look like.
Everyone in the Oval Office was
talking about the Great American Think-off, which I have to admit, I didn’t
know anything about. Making America Great, I know, but Great America Thinking,
I don’t know so much. Anyway, my staff told me this year’s question is:
“Thinking is a
good thing, Yes or No.”
At first, I didn’t get it because I
think both answers are right. Thinking can be a good thing like when I think
I’m on to something, or it can be a bad thing like the time I thought I was on
to something only to find out the thing I was on was a merry-go-round, which a
lot of people would say is a good thing, but I don’t know—you’re here...you’re
there...then you’re back here again.
Some people say a merry-go-round is a
good ride, but I like my rides to get me somewhere. That’s what I think.
Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing...who knows,...we’ll see...or we
won’t. I dunno. Think about it.
The more I think about it, the more I
think, thinking is a bad thing. Too much thinking, which some people call
overthinking can just make things more complicated. I like things simple.
Someone just told me the folks at New
York Mills like personal stories, which is lucky for me because I have a
million of them. Someone else just told me New York Mills is in Minnesota. Go
figure.
Anyway, one time I did overthink
something and it didn’t turn out so good, and I swore I would never think about
something too much, again...and to the best of my recollection, I never have.
So, I hit a good drive and I’m in the
middle of the fairway and I’ve got 180 yards to the hole. I could use a
three-wood and reach the green easily, but I might go past it if I get off a
clean shot...or I could use a one-iron, which I don’t like to use, but I can
use if I have to. It may leave me a little short...and I’m not talking about
me, because I happen to be a very tall man...taller than most, and when I say
most, I mean, just about everyone.
I don’t want to get off track here.
The one iron might leave me short of the green, which is called a lay-up and from
there, I might be better off, if I can chip onto the green and get close to the
hole.
But, I don’t know. If it comes
between coming up short, or going too far...I’m kind of a long-ball guy. I
don’t think you can ever go too far. So, I take the three wood out, but decide
not to hit it too hard, but just hard enough. Well, you know what happened
next...I didn’t think it would happen, but I knew it could happen because
anything can happen and usually does...in fact, people tell me things happen
all the time.
So, I take a shorter backswing and
slow down my front swing. Is that what you call it? I never thought about it
before, but if going back is called a backswing, a swing going front must be a
front swing. This is the kind of confusion, thinking will get you.
Anyway, because I overthought what
club to use, I wound up not hitting the ball cleanly and I came up short, but
not just short, but short in a trap, which I hate being in. Anyone who has ever
been in a trap will tell you, it is not a good place to be. Believe me, I know.
So, you see, based on this real
story, which I didn’t make up on the spot like some people accuse me of doing, I
would have to say thinking isn’t a good thing...not if you’ve hit a good drive
and want to get on the green in two, which is something I would want to do and
I think anyone would want to do.
So, that’s my answer. Thinking is a
good thing—No.
I don’t know, though. Some pretty
good thinking on my part went into getting to that answer.
Maybe I should think about it some
more and see if I come up with a different answer, which I’m sure I will,
because I always do.
I just got an idea for next year’s
think-off. “Three-wood or one-iron, which is it?” I know what I think.
